Kenneth Roberson, Ph.D. | Can Asperger's Syndrome Be Cured?

Coping Methods for Teens with Asperger Syndrome

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You'll need a more adult way of identifying and dealing with your emotions. Their lives seem directionless and they appear to drift along in life. In fact, her diagnosis had only a small shard that fit at all and even the basis behind THAT did not fit at all. So thank you for writing what you did. I do not really know you…someone crossly said its been 2years!

Providing hope for those on the autism spectrum

I am always happily encouraged to read books like this which give me hope and help me to explain to my child and others that this is not a bad thing but, a gift that I haven't fully figured out. Some people spend hours washing themselves or cleaning their surroundings in order to reduce their fear that germs, dirt or chemicals will infect them. I am the grandparent of a nine year old recently found to have Asperger's. However, with help, many people with Aspergers go on to lead normal lives and even excel in numerous ways. He gets frustrated if I mention that I strongly believe that I am on the spectrum.

When everything has been addressed to the extent allowed in this timeframe, the final part of the clinical interview is the presentation of my findings. Presenting these findings is a multi-step process. An example of this is difficulty noticing whether people are bored or not listening in conversations. What happens if someone has some of these difficulties but not all?

It can eliminate the worry that a person is severely mentally ill. It can support the idea that the person has genuine difficulties arising from a real, legitimate condition. A new, and more accurate, understanding of the person can lead to appreciation and respect for what the person is coping with. Acceptance by friends and family members is more likely. Employers are more likely to understand the ability and needs of an employee should that employee make the diagnosis known.

Accommodations can be requested and a rationale can be provided based on a known diagnosis. Having the diagnosis is a relief for many people. It provides a means of understanding why someone feels and thinks differently than others.

There can be a new sense of personal validation and optimism, of not being defective, weird or crazy. Acceptance of the diagnosis can be an important stage in the development of successful adult intimate relationships. It also enables therapists, counselors and other professionals to provide the correct treatment options should the person seek assistance. Liane Holliday Willey is an educator, author and speaker. Yes, but the list is shorter than the list of advantages.

No longer will they be able to hope to have a satisfying, intimate relationship. Instead, their future will be filled with loneliness and alienation from others with no expectation of improvement. While it is not legally acceptable to do so, we know that silent discrimination happens, hiring decisions are not always made public and competition can leave someone with a different profile out of the picture.

It very well might be that some other condition is the real problem or, more likely, two or more conditions are overlapping. Brain imaging and studies of the brain structure show similarities between the two disorders.

Having said that, there are important differences between the two. People with ADHD often try to do multiple activities at the same time. They get distracted easily and jump from one interest or activity to another. Focusing on one thing for a long time is hard for them. They are hyper-focused rather than unfocused. There is a similar difference with respect to impulsivity. People with ADHD will do things without considering the outcome of their actions.

They act immediately and have trouble waiting. They interrupt, blurt out comments and seem unable to restrain themselves. They do not tend to have specific weaknesses in their understanding and use of language.

They also speak with a normal tone of voice and inflection. They may talk a lot and have more one-sided conversations as do adults with ADHD but they do so because lacking an understanding of how the person they are talking to is grasping what they are saying they are, in effect, talking to themselves. They confuse behaviors that may be appropriate in one setting from those that are appropriate in another, so that they often act in appropriate for the situation they are in.

They find it hard to interpret the meanings of facial expressions and body posture, and they have particular difficulty understanding how people express their emotions. When they do communicate their feelings they are often out of synch with the situation that generated the feeling.

Adults with ADHD tend to process sensory input in a typical manner. They may have preferences for how they handle sensory input like music, touch, sounds, and visual sensations but generally the way they handle these situations is much like other adults.

They may be overly sensitive to one kind of sensation and avoid that persistently. Or they may prefer a certain type of sensation and, a certain type of music, for example, and seek it over and over. The core features of obsessive-compulsive disorder OCD are frequent and persistent thoughts, impulses or images that are experienced as unwelcomed and uninvited.

Along with these thoughts are repetitive behaviors or mental acts that the person feels driven to perform in order to reduce stress or to prevent something bad from happening. Some people spend hours washing themselves or cleaning their surroundings in order to reduce their fear that germs, dirt or chemicals will infect them.

Others repeat behaviors or say names or phrases over and over hoping to guard against some unknown harm. To reduce the fear of harming oneself or others by, for example, forgetting to lock the door or turn off the gas stove, some people develop checking rituals.

Still others silently pray or say phrases to reduce anxiety or prevent a dreaded future event while others will put objects in a certain order or arrange things perfects in order to reduce discomfort. Individuals with both conditions engage in repetitive behaviors and resist the thought of changing them.

Indeed, they are usually enjoyed. All other interactions I have would best be described as between a cashier or customer service person and me. Nothing gets any more intimate than that. With so little interaction, I know that I tend to ramble on and on just for the sake of having a conversation. Talking to myself gets lonely.

Because of this lack of connection—for more than 50 years! My career has suffered. Obviously, something else is at stake. Apart from this, I suffer from depression that I ascribe to a head concussion that happened in that left me hospitalized for two days.

I have no memory of the accident, but I now know that concussions can lead to damage that causes depression. Is there any help for this? I just wish someone had noticed and intervened by now. Kind of late in life now.

Hi Friend I truly do appreciate you taking time to share your comment and I hear the struggles that you have and still are experiencing. As I have said to others, I do wish that there was a quick fix solution, but there is none that I am aware of!

One thing that I have found helpful is knowing that I am not alone. Others are also having similar struggles and challenges. Perhaps this may also be a small comfort to you. Honestly, being diagnosed later in life probably does not help a whole lot as you have already learned coping mechanisms that you use every day. Please if anyone else has any thoughts that could be useful in this situation then please reply with your comment.

A counselor years ago suggested I get tested for aspergers, but I never did. I am not comfortable with diagnosing people with labels like this, and am already not comfortable with having myself diagnosed with those number of things, nor do I feel like the diagnosis are accurate.

I suppose my question is this: For children and teens, it would seem to be more beneficial to get a formal diagnosis as early as possible.

As skills can be taught to help these young people better manage and live in our modern society. Some adults do decide to get a diagnosis as the ongoing issues can be bothering them and causing problems in relationships, family and work etc.

Others decide that it is not such an issue and that they really do not see the benefits of a formal diagnosis. For some people just knowing for sure can bring a sense of peace after years of wondering and questions.

I know I had a lot of difficulty with my peers when I was young, but now I can do very well. I can mirror and imitate social cues now with the exception of eye contact something I rarely do. A lot of things say that I should have interests in things and categories but if I had to say that I had a special interest it would be people.

Like studying people and the science behind why social cues exist and how they came to be, etc. I understand that it is not an easy thing, but since this is bothering you so much I do recommend that you carefully consider talking to your psychiatrist.

At least give it some thought. Hi Justine, I love your website — informative and non-judgemental. I find them to be enjoyable, interesting, honest and usually fun. It has successfully helped many aspergers kids and adults make changes in their lives to help with their relationships and participation in life in general. The feedback from the autistic individuals I have worked with has been very positive.

Feedback form family members has been great. The international website is http: I took this test on two separate occasions and got 31 and I am better able to empathize, but everything else pretty much applies to me.

How can this be? Are my answers out to lunch or does the test fail to completely identify this particular characteristic? I am a gifted person, with a Mensa-tested IQ of In order to find out answers to your questions you really need to find someone in your area who is familiar with various aspects of Autism and the spectrum.

You will then be able to discuss your concerns and find out further information. Here is a website that you may find helpful as a beginning point: I have felt different my whole life. My fiancee is very similar to me and I think he might be on the spectrum. But he hates labels and refuses to talk about it. He gets frustrated if I mention that I strongly believe that I am on the spectrum.

I took the quiz and scored a Hi Mandy Deciding to obtain a professional diagnosis is totally a personal decision that only you can make. Your fiancee is correct in that a diagnosis does not change who you are, but it can often help in knowing what skills you may want to focus on to assist you in relating to others and living a more stress-reduced life.

Many people decide to get a diagnosis, while many others decide to just leave it. Either way you can research on your own and find out positive ways that help you in your daily life. Whatever you decide, I wish you all the very best. Please know that you are always welcome to come back again in the future and to share your comments with us.

I am 29, and I got 36 in the Aspergers Test. I am a computer programmer and I love my job. My reluctance to talk about my feelings is likely a factor in my first breakup, though he never talked about his either. He suffered in silence, and I well, never noticed until he wanted to end it. While it turned out for the better, I am doing my best to not make the same mistake again. Each had a maximum score of 50, with 32 and above being the range referring to higher probability of having the disorder.

My score has ranged from 43 to I have also consulted several doctors and therapists, who gave diagnoses ranging from manic depressive disorder psychiatrist to generalized anxiety disorder primary care physician to obsessive compulsive disorder 2nd psychiatrist. After going through months of CBT cognitive behavioral therapy , 2 family members with masters degrees in psychology asked me to read an article and tell them if the article described my situation.

The article was about Aspergers disorder, and described my situation vividly. I then informed my therapist and psychiatrist of the findings and also found the name of a local psychotherapist via PsychologyToday.

I have been in contact with the psychotherapist and psychiatrist since March and have been experiencing some progress in learning how to cope with my condition. I am happy to hear of the support that you have in your family and also thru your contact with PsychologyToday. That is fantastic that you are learning skills and ways to live a fulfilling and satisfying life. You are an encouragement to others.

So keep up the great work! I only recently found this site. I am shaking as I write this. I am 58 years old and come from a poverty stricken circumstance in my early years until 9 yrs old and a dysfunctional extended-family situation.

Once I scored 34 on my own and once I scored I am waiting for a referral to contact me for an appt. This may sound really strange but I am terrified — not of being diagnosed with aspergers, but of NOT being diagnosed with aspergers.

I have felt alone and out of sync with the world all my life and have become a connoisseur of counselling and even a few anti-depressant meds. Others have visible handicaps and the world can see that they are playing as well as they can with the hand they are dealt and respect them for it.

I often feel as if I have a volcano of emotion and anguish inside just waiting to erupt and sometimes it does. As much as I have tried to control the eruption the lava has become insidious, flowing out to everyone around me including my two adult daughters one with my only grandson, who is a high-functioning autistic 12 year old that I feel great compassion for.

My husband is used to being my care-taker and any attempts on my part to function more independently have left him confused and me extremely frustrated.

I am afraid to try to be the real me when relating to these few individuals for fear that they, too, will be gone from my life and I will be even more alone.

As I read about all this pain I so related to it that I cried. One day will forever stand out in my mind: I think that is when I started to wonder about myself. I have become passionate about yoga, it has given me something to hold on to, taught me compassion for myself.

I hope and I pray daily that I will someday get some answers and some peace of mind. Hi Nita Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing your thoughts in your comment here. My heart truly does feel for you as I read what you wrote.

I can also relate to some of your own struggles. I truly do hope that all goes well for you with the upcoming appointment and that things do work out for you in a way that will be helpful for you in the future.

There is no easy or quick answer or solution to many of the challenges that we encounter in our life on this earth. I sometimes wish there was! Please feel free Nita to stop by and let us know how you go with your appointment. Know that you and your family are in my prayers. In the past 5 years I have recognized myself in him more and more. Our 15 yr old daughter received intensive treatment through the Infant Intervention Program in our locality when she was young and improved enough to no longer qualify for services.

We all took the test and our daughter scored a 26, our 18 yr old Aspie son got a 31, my husband scored 36, and I took the cake with a score of I am looking for a professional for a dx, but it is difficult to find someone in our area willing to take Medicaid.

I have done this test 3 different times, over the course of 8 months. First two times I scored 36 and the time I scored Perhaps, I will go talk to my MD about this. There are a lot of diagnosed children with ASD in my family. My partner and I have talked openly about this possibility of my ASD for the past 5 years, we have been together for almost We have figured out ways of talking about things in our relationship once we began the conversation about potential ASD.

I think that is a wise decision to go and talk to your family doctor about the topic of Aspergers and the autism spectrum. That meeting should give you a good starting point to move forward and see if it will be helpful to obtain a professional diagnosis. It is great to hear too that you and your partner are working out ways to communicate with one another in ways that work for the two of you. That is fantastic and something that we all need to work on in relationships with those we care about.

My mother always thought there was something wrong with him when he was a child. However, the doctors told him he was fine. Well he was born in before they started diagnosing so many children with autism and since the end of he has been unable to cope with life. He has had serious problems with bipolar disorder and alcoholism. My heart goes out to your brother and family. It certainly does sound as if your brother has had a difficult time with life. I wish there was an easy answer on how to fix it all up, but I know of none.

Prayer has been helpful in my own life and perhaps it may be a help to your brother as well. If you are able to support your brother and show him love and acceptance that could go a long way.

I was diagnosed with severe depression when I was My childhood was pretty normal. Grew up in a family of 7 kids. However, I was the loner of the group.

My colleagues tend to find me a little anti-social and I get most of work done on my own. Never really liked making new friends. I find this very interesting. As a child I like to do things on my own and did not like to be picked up much. But I had some social interactions with kids my age. I had to learn how to express how I feel and to tell people how I felt in order to sustain relationships. I am learning to be more spontaneous in some things but still have to have a routine.

When I am interested in something, I am Really interested in something crime docs, magic realism, learning languages, etc. I have self taught myself how to use photoshop and other software, even write minor basic code not great at it. I really did not think of myself this way as having aspergers or HFA until I started working with children with autism. I am a graduate student studying linguistics and want to become a speech path and happen to get a job as an ABA therapist which I love.

Then I started to realize that I had some of the same traits as these children when I was a child. I collected and was obsessed pens fancy pens and still am, as a child, but I also was obsessed with reading. I made up a written language as a child with a friend because I was obsessed with Tolkien and his elvish language hence studying linguistics.

Often when people are talking about their feelings, I do not know what to say or do. I am affectionate, but only when I want to be and now realizing that people view that as being stand offish. But I am not mad if this is my diagnosis I scored 26 on the AQ test and plan on talking to my doctor about this.

I think that all of my traits got me to where I am now. Good idea to follow up on your AQ test score with your doctor as the test score just gives an indication, but is never a diagnosis. That is really cool how after working with the children you began to see some of the same traits in yourself. But I feel like everything takes too long and my friendships that I have made that are important to me are crumbling because no one ever seems to believe me and misunderstands me all the time..

Hi Friend Thanks for leaving your comment and opening up with us on this site. I understand that it is not easy to do and so it is truly appreciated.

Being told that you are lying or trying to get noticed can be very hurtful! I know this first hand. It is difficult to get others to understand. I personally find that my family and sometimes even my husband do not understand why I respond certain ways and it is quite challenging to deal with sometimes. Do you have anyone in your circle of friends and family who does understand you?

Anyone who is a support to you? It is often not easy to find someone you can trust and be yourself with who understands you, but if you can find such a person or couple of people then it is a wonderful blessing. You are not alone and you can help another person who is struggling by opening up yourself.

So thank you for writing what you did. I am an asperguer mom and reading this make me feel a bit bad, but I need to say I understand your feelings, my son have the same problem. He is a very special boy and I wish sometimes to help to change that, sadly sometimes people do not have faith in others. But I tell him the ones rejecting you or telling you things like that are not your real friends.

I am sure you will find in your life people who will love you and accept you for who you are, do not lose the faith and the courage, as well do not feel bad for those who are telling you bad things. Ask for help from your Dr. And the Doctor will guide you to find the correct help if you have asperguer or other problem. Good step you are doing is finding information for your own and I am sure your will find the tools to keep going and have a happy life.

My best wishes and God bless you. Thanks so much Nini for sharing your own thoughts and encouragement with us! It is greatly appreciated. In reply to your question, the answer may differ for each individual. My first suggestion would be to seek advice from the professional who performed the diagnosis. They should be able to point you in the right direction in regards to ideas of what can help the individual person and his or her specific needs.

It is also important for family members to become better informed to discover how they can assist the person with aspergers or an autism spectrum disorder. I am a single parent, have practically no friends, in spite of living in the same area for several years now — I have never been a social butterfly, but until I had my son, I at least managed to always make a few friends no matter where I have lived.

His only interaction with the other kids is when he has something of interest to him and the other boys come over to see what he has. Is it possible for both of us to fall in the spectrum for AS? The only family I have in the area is my mother who is a detriment and cannot be counted on other than to undermine my efforts. Thanks for any suggestions! Hi Tammi Thank you for sharing! But there are still plenty that do and hence the reason I included it. I especially liked some of the information on this site: I do not believe that there is a simple, one-stop answer to your questions I wish there was!

My heart goes out to you and I will continue to lift you both up in my prayers that you will find the direction and answers that you need at this time. I am 54 and have made my career as a successful supply cover teacher. This means I do not actually have colleagues and work mostly with strangers. If I stay too long in a school I start to become a bit stressed when i can no longer class the people I work with as strangers. I often say to people.. I do not really know you…someone crossly said its been 2years!

I have just scored38 on the AQ test and as I read the description I thought yes that is me exactly except that at 54 I have learned coping strategies. I have just one friend and as my husband tells me that is just because she clings to me like a limpet.. I just want to say that life is puzzling for everyone but for some more so than others and that with time you will learn coping strategies.

They do not know how much it costs me in effort sometimes to do something different like going to a new restaurant with my husband.. I find too that even with these ways of coping sometimes certain situations still cause me stress, which I am sure others experience too to some degree. When I told her she had just described my childhood very well, she dismissed me with what I can only describe as contempt and picked apart every example I gave her.

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You are an encouragement to others. I have also consulted several doctors and therapists, who gave diagnoses ranging from manic depressive disorder psychiatrist to generalized anxiety disorder primary care physician to obsessive compulsive disorder 2nd psychiatrist. In fact, according to the National Institute of Health , this awkwardness can be one of the hallmarks of AS.

asperger dating advice

And the Doctor will guide you to find the correct help if you have asperguer or other problem. Consider taking a class in social skills designed specifically for teens with AS.

asperger dating advice

Most teens with Asperger's Syndrome have been working to overcome social and behavioral challenges for their whole lives. A person is diagnosed based on the signs and symptoms he or she has rather than the results of a specific laboratory or other type of test. Its been a great help to her, when she needs a question answered. And I am glad asperger dating advice our website can asperger dating advice in a little way to show that you are not datimg. All other interactions I have would best the hook up tackle store described as between a cashier or customer service person and me. In your teen years, teachers begin to load on the homework and expect greater responsibility from students. They were struggling to make it through each day, constantly sick with worry that something horrible would happen to their loved one before the Aspergers was brought under control.