Table of Contents
The love between men is grudgingly tolerated for men who are "that way": It was then Poseidon seized you, overwhelmed in his mind with desire, and swept you on golden mares to Zeus' glorious palace on Olympus, where, at another time, Ganymede came also for the same passion in Zeus . On the same show, Tyra Banks trots out Dean who does "stuff" with other guys. Within a part of the hypothalamus which regulates male-typical behaviors exists a cell group that is larger in males than females. In such environments, male adolescents were often sought after as sex partners by adult men, especially by young unmarried men.
Reasons Fling is the World's Best Personals Service Online:
Virtually all Bonobos are bisexual, interacting sexually with both males and females. I love all the ideas you give us that are diy…… I can do most of these and my husband loves them! World's Best Free Casual Personals! The former were thought of as effeminate not just because they took the receptive role in anal sex, but because they were also feminine in dress and manner. Is this a cultural difference, because I think it's hard for some Americans to see them enjoying enthusiastic sex with men, then identifying as straight. Notice then that Augustus is accosted for submitting to his predecessor Julius Caesar, but Julius Caesar is not accosted for fucking Augustus.
Check out millions of fun photos and watch webcams that allow you to party with members live on the best casual personals! Looking for casual cams? Then click here to visit Camsoda girls. It's great for casual dating. A must visit place for singles. Join an casual interest group. You can meet casual swingers. Have a wonderful Christmas! I love the Two little lovers sitting in a tree project..
Hmmm, I just tried it and I was able to print the hearts? I wonder if it has something to do with your computer or printer settings? This could be great for a family tree as well! I blog over at sundaesandspaghetti. I am creating a post of cool Valentine day decorations, and love, love, love this!.
May I use a picture in my college. I will be sure to link your picture back to you. You are so creative! I feel like I am not that handy, but could do this haha. Also I tried to make a video about a personal gift for your loved ones, a DIY flower with compliments or puns for every day! Will be making this for my wife for Valentines Day. Will go perfect with the other items i have created for her. Since then I made 2 more for each of my friends who were married in We have all kinds of great projects on our site!
If you click on the Romantic Gifts button at the top you can see all of our gift ideas. Or you can go to the search bar and do a search for DIY, as well! We are always coming up with new gift ideas for your sweetheart.
I absolutely love it! I just made it for my daughter and her boyfriend. They are away on a ski trip and I will be headed to their home tomorrow. Thank you so much for your sweet comment and for reading! We hope you enjoyed making it and be sure to check out all of our fabulous gift ideas!
Thanks for the instructions and the PDFs! And yikes on our link! Thanks for letting us know! The problem is that the tree printed too small on the page!
My Girlfriend decided we should make each other something for our first Valentines together. I came across your website and thought…hmmm.. I think I might be able to pull that off. I did and she loved it! Although it took me 13 hours to do no joke it was well worth the smile on her face and the tears of happiness in her eyes. I least I think they were happy tears!
Anyways, thanks a bunch for putting that on your site. I am making this for my Son and Daughter in law and want to incorporate their dogs in a different way than the hearts. Sorry, a few of those ideas ARE literal.
You can also go to a scrapbooking store to get darling stickers.. Jeff, oh my gosh!! Marisa, so happy you liked it! Thank you so much for your sweet comment. We hope your daughter and her new hubby love it!
I have been married to my hero for 41 years and have loved every moment with him. I am making this form him for Valentines Day. Our life is beautiful. Congratulations on 41 years! Thank you so much for sharing that and your kind words! I LOVE that song too! Have a great day! Thanks so much for this DIY post. Any tips on how to master tying a tiny bow when you tie the twine on the branch? So glad you like this post! You can find some tutorials on Youtube that I bet will help. The fork is the key.
I think you can do either with the trees but I did two on top of each other to give dimension! Hi, I saw someone selling this on Etsy. However… your handwriting might make it more meaningful!
Definitely going to be adding this to our home decor. The tree template is awesome! So glad you like it! That sounds amazing, Jenilee! That piece of art will be treasured by her!
They will LOVE it! What a great idea for the first anniversary!! It sounds like it looks ah-mazing! Thanks for passing that little tip along! This will be great for our four year anniversary next March. Thank you for the post! Will be doing one for my love, for her birthday gift.
Will be the perfect wedding gift for my friend! I was going to type this up in a word doc. Any idea on the font used in the template?
Thank you so much for sharing. This is sooooo cute! What a great idea… thanks for sharing! What a fabulous idea — very eye catching and appealing. I am not computer savvy, some of my tree is blank on the top and bottom. How can I fix it? This is the most adorable idea EvER! You are so welcome and congrats!!!! Tara……… absolutely beautiful gift, thank you so much!!!!! You are SO welcome! And I love that you used a poem!!!
You are SO welcome!! How do I download the template? Thanks for sharing that with us! And you are more than welcome! Can you tell me what font you used, i love the look of it. A dark cloud of grief fell upon Achilles as he listened.
He filled both hands with dust from off the ground, and poured it over his head, disfiguring his comely face, and letting the refuse settle over his shirt so fair and new.
He flung himself down all huge and hugely at full length, and tore his hair with his hands. Achilles is so heart-broken that he vows revenge on Patroclus's killer, Hector, even so knowing that his own death is prophesied to follow soon after Hector's:. I will pursue Hector who has slain him whom I loved so dearly, and will then abide my doom when it may please Zeus and the other gods to send it.
While Homer is not sexually explicit about the two, only pudding-headed puritans could conceive otherwise. As Aeschines believed twenty-three centuries ago, their "extraordinary degree of goodwill towards one another would be self-explanatory. Aeschylus argues Achilles was the older one; Phaedrus in Plato's Symposium calls this "nonsense" as Achilles was more beautiful, had not yet grown a beard, and was chronologically younger. He has a married Nestor encouraging a young Telemachus to sleep with the former's son Pisistratus, despite that both of them later marry women.
In Xenophon's Symposium , Socrates and his friends are invited to a dinner to discuss the nature of love. The rest of that very dialogue shows that the Greeks took same-sex sex between men as an obvious given. For example, Critobulus starts the initial conversation by answering that he takes greatest pride in his looks 4.
However, Critobulus had recently married a woman 2. He furthermore creates equivalence between liking boys and girls when he boasts to Socrates that he "could persuade this boy and this girl to kiss me sooner than you could, Socrates, even if you were to give a very long and clever speech" 4.
For Xenophon then, it's not that Achilles and Patroclus couldn't have loved one another but that as idealized mythical heroes they should be understood as having the self-control to not act on such carnal same-sex temptations, temptations that were taken for granted. We can surmise as much from when Socrates compliments Callias that he finally managed to fall in love with the male Autolycus a fact the "whole city knows" who wasn't "weakened by softness" but rather had "strength, endurance, courage, and temperance" 8.
You can like men, as long as it is for more than sex, according to Xenophon. Whatever the exact nature of Achilles-Patroclus and the gods, we don't have to settle for fiction to understand a different culture.
The first twenty Roman emperors  provide possibly the most concise indictment against the quaint Western folk belief in the exclusive heterosexuality of the vast majority of males.
Of these twenty leaders, eighteen are recorded to have had male interests on the side or outright lovers, one of whom was deified after death. The only stain upon his chastity was his having cohabited with Nicomedes and that indeed stuck to him all the days of his life and exposed him to much bitter raillery. I will not dwell upon those well-known verses of Calvus Licinius: In his early youth various aspersions of an infamous character were heaped upon him.
Sextus Pompey reproached him with being an effeminate fellow; and [Mark] Antony with earning his adoption from his uncle [Julius Caesar] by prostitution.
Lucius Antony, likewise Mark's brother, charges him with pollution by Caesar; and that, for a gratification of three hundred thousand sesterces, he had submitted to Aulus Hirtius in the same way, in Spain; adding that he used to singe his legs with burnt nutshells to make the hair become softer. He never had the least regard either to the chastity of his own person, or that of others. He is said to have been inflamed with an unnatural passion for Marcus Lepidus Mnester, an actor in pantomimes, and for certain hostages; and to have engaged with them in the practice of mutual pollution.
Valerius Catullus, a young man of a consular family, bawled aloud in public that he had been exhausted by him in that abominable act.
He even went so far as to marry him, with all the usual formalities of a marriage. Settlement, the rose-coloured nuptial veil, and a numerous company at the wedding. When the ceremony was over he had him conducted like a bride to his own house and treated him as his wife. He prostituted his own chastity to such a degree, that after he had defiled every part of his person with some unnatural pollution, he at last invented an extraordinary kind of diversion; which was to he let out of a den in the arena covered with the skin of a wild beast, and then assail with violence the private parts both of men and women while they were bound to stakes.
After he had vented his furious passion upon them, he finished the play in the embraces of his freed man Doryphorus, to whom he was married in the same way that Sporus had been married to himself; imitating the cries and shrieks of young virgins, when they are ravished. I have been informed from numerous sources, that he firmly believed, no man in the world to be chaste, or any part of his person undefiled; but that most men concealed that vice, and were cunning enough to keep it secret.
In his lust, he was more inclined to the male sex, and such of them too as were old. It is said of him, that in Spain, when Icelus, an old catamite of his, brought him the news of Nero's death, he not only kissed him lovingly before company, but begged of him to remove all impediments, and then took him aside into a private apartment.
He spent his youth amongst the catamites of Tiberius at Capri, was himself constantly stigmatized with the name of Spintria, and was supposed to have been the occasion of his father's advancement, by consenting to gratify the emperor's unnatural lust.
In the subsequent part of his life, being still most scandalously vicious, he rose to great favour at court being upon a very intimate footing with [Caligula], because of his fondness for chariot driving, and with Claudius for his love of gaming. But he was in a still higher degree acceptable to Nero, as well on the same accounts, as for a particular service which he rendered him. Besides his cruelty he lay under the suspicion of giving way to habits of luxury, as he often prolonged his revels till midnight with the most riotous of his acquaintance.
Nor was he unsuspected of lewdness on account of the swarms of catamites and eunuchs about him, and his well-known attachment. He is said to have spent the time of his youth in so much want and infamy, that he had not one piece of plate belonging to him; and it is well known, that Clodius Pollio, a man of pretorian rank, against whom there is a poem of Nero's extant, entitled Luscio, kept a note in his hand-writing, which he sometimes produced, in which Domitian made an assignation with him for the foulest purposes.
Some, likewise, have said that he [Domitian] prostituted himself to Nerva who succeeded him. I know, of course, that he was devoted to boys and to wine, but if he had ever committed or endured any base or wicked deed as the result of this, he would have incurred censure; as it was, however, he drank all the wine he wanted, yet remained sober, and in his relation with boys he harmed no one. During a journey on the Nile he lost Antinous, his favourite, and for this youth he wept like a woman.
But however this may be, the Greeks deified him at Hadrian's request, and declared that oracles were given through his agency, but these, it is commonly asserted, were composed by Hadrian himself. In my father [Antoninus Pius] I observed mildness of temper, and unchangeable resolution in the things which he had determined after due deliberation; and no vainglory in those things which men call honours; and a love of labour and perseverance; and a readiness to listen to those who had anything to propose for the common weal; and undeviating firmness in giving to every man according to his deserts; and a knowledge derived from experience of the occasions for vigorous action and for remission.
So passionately, by Hercules, am I in love with you, nor am I frightened off by the law you lay down, and even if you shew yourself more forward and facile to others, who are non-lovers, yet will I love you while I have life and health. When he set out for Syria, however, his name was smirched not only by the licence of an unbridled life, but also by adulteries and by love-affairs with young men. Commodus lived, rioting in the Palace amid banquets and in baths along with concubines, gathered together for their beauty and chosen from both matrons and harlots, and with minions [ puberibus exoletis ], also in number, whom he had collected by force and by purchase indiscriminately from the common people and the nobles solely on the basis of bodily beauty.
He held a sale of Commodus' belongings, even ordering the sale of all his youths and concubines, except those who had apparently been brought to the Palace by force. While lending support to the overwhelming sexual difference from today, the histories still sound rather homophobic.
First, the English translators superimposed their hysterical Victorian morality on the ancient past. These translations and contemporary medical books dating from the late 19th century either bowdlerize out the naughty parts brought to you by the letter X or leave them in the original Latin to prevent the pious reader from contracting the vapors bibliologically. Second, the cause of the negativity was not homophobia as the Romans lacked a concept of homosexuality and without it, homophobia cannot exist.
What some busybody Romans objected to was what they considered feminine behavior. They objected to men taking it up the ass and sucking dick not because they were homophobic but because they were misogynistic: Obviously, those who partook must have disagreed with such sexual mores.
Notice then that Augustus is accosted for submitting to his predecessor Julius Caesar, but Julius Caesar is not accosted for fucking Augustus. Likewise, the only stain on Caesar was his early relationship with Nicomedes, not his later relationship with a younger man.
The restrictions on submission applied only to free men and not slaves or foreigners, relationships in which neither men would be negatively judged: Nero crime's was the "abuse of free born lads. A Stoic trend also called for moderation, hence the negative tone concerning orgies and throngs of prostitutes.
But such denunciations provide evidence of sexual flexibility: The outrage is often directed at the number of partners, not their genitalia. Underscoring that point is the commentary on Vespasian: Similarly, Trajan's love of wine and boys does not arouse rebuke from Dio: It is with these men of power we close this introduction, neither providing an exhaustive review nor a model to slavishly emulate. We are not re-enactors.
I don't want slaves or emperors. However, the contrast could not be more clear between their past and our sexually inflexible present, the false homosexual-heterosexual dichotomy included.
They share our genes and in many cases, we have actual Roman or Greek ancestors. The only tangible difference between the Romans, Greeks and us is culture. Culture does not cause men to like women, a biological inevitability for most males.
However, culture must cause the majority of men to not like other men and to only and exclusively like women. These men married women and sometimes other men. They certainly liked women, but it's undeniable that they also liked men.
Despite giving a somewhat muddled history lesson on the origins of our sexual orientation system, actor James Franco correctly notes that our current system precludes the sort of sexuality we saw with the Greeks and Romans: Another way of looking at it would be to compare the sexuality of then and now using the modern standard of the Kinsey scale.
The Kinsey scale gives the average of the total of heterosexual and homosexual relationships, from a scale of 0 to 6. If you mostly have male sexual partners but also some women, you'd be a 4 or 5.
If we plot all men on the scale, we would get something like the figure below. Most men in the modern West allege themselves to be 0's or exclusively heterosexual. However, based on this chapter, it's safe to assume that most men in the Greco-Roman world would not be exclusively heterosexual but somewhere in James Franco's middle zone:. This conclusion that our current culture retards an innate sexual flexibility as seen in the Greco-Roman world raises more questions than it answers.
What about gays incessantly droning on about being born that way? Surely, they weren't made gay by culture. What about straight men who insist that they only like women? Surely, they're not lying. We have to untangle quite a bit of gobbledygook to answer these questions.
The representative of the 14th century will at best admit that perhaps gays have a predisposition, but, just like with alcoholism, this ill too can be overcome with plenty of prayer and costly quack reparative therapy. No donation, no salvation," to quote the game Grand Theft Auto 2. The meticulous thinker should be skeptical of the gay side's view of the origins of this strange species called the gays because the premise itself is illogical and shaky: On the contrary, every genocide has been started when a detestable minority group was found to have an incorrigible flaw, i.
The Nazis believed that Jews were born that way and couldn't unjew themselves, no matter what. Those given to same-sex inclinations could change or at least control their urges enough not to be a public nuisance, so these brilliant thinkers thought. That's why under the Nazi regime six million Jews died, while perhaps only six thousand died of those arrested under Paragraph , the old Prussian law that made sexual acts between males illegal.
So why do gays hammer home the point that they are born that way? While logic does not grant rights for inborn traits,  the judiciary of the United States has a distinct bias against reason and logic. They think that "groups with such immutable characteristics as race or sex entitle them to equal protection of the law.
Apparently, I have more right to collect coins if I can show that my numismatic urges are congenital rather than acquired in later life. Methinks that's a more limiting view of rights but a critique of the legal system of our banana republic is outside the scope of this work and will have to wait until a forthcoming volume.
The cleric shares a conflict of interest with the gays and needs truth bent his way too: If gays were born that way, their interpretation of the Bible is wrong. Why would God make people who by nature tend not to go forth and multiply? Why would God endow people with desires that they cannot partake in? God cannot be a Hermes. So are gays born that way or not?
And more importantly, how do our numerous Greco-Roman colleagues figure into this? Well, given the logical flaws and conflicts of interest, let's instead resurrect the now dormant debate between scientists and historians. Scientists have confirmed that gays are probably born that way, though the exact reasons remain elusive; the main culprits are genes and prenatal hormones. So what's going on? Why are the homo-hetero numbers inverted for the past if homosexuality is a fixed trait?
Opposed to these essentialists, some historians, social constructionists, and classicists hint at culture as an overlooked driver of sexuality. They are skeptical of the science because history shows a great deal more variety of sexuality between men, including dozens of cultures like the Greco-Roman world in the previous chapter.
Are the scientists making stuff up? Is all of history a big hoax? There is a way for both seemingly mutually exclusive views to be correct. While both have much to offer, science and history speak mutually unintelligible languages  so their differences have not been reconciled. How does a scientist interpret historical data that rejects everything seen in the lab? How does a historian interpret scientific data that rejects everything seen in history?
A review of both history and science is needed. As a child, the Urning manifests an entirely unmistakable inclination toward girls' occupations, toward the company of girls, toward playing with girls' toys, especially dolls. How terribly lamentable to such a child that it is not the custom for boys to play with dolls, that Santa Claus will not bring him any dolls, too, and that he is forbidden to play with his sister's dolls!
Even a cursory review of the science tells us that gays indeed are born that way. But there's an important caveat that the gay activists don't mention when trumpeting this good news. The science ties sexual orientation to gender, the sense of being masculine or feminine.
To put another way, even pro-gay researchers have found that under controlled experiments some well-known stereotypes about effeminate gay men contain at least a "kernel of truth. The prevailing theory is simple: In the case of gays, the hormones make them more feminine.
Their effeminacy and sexuality are tied together and flow from the same gender-shift. Thus, if gay men are not feminine, there is no mechanism for them having been born that way. If gays don't acknowledge that gay is on average more effeminate, then they can't insist that they are born that way. One exception to the lack of interest in the details of what exactly gays are born with was a 60 Minutes piece in on the "Science Of Sexual Orientation.
The first of two sets of twins:. The bedrooms of 9-year-old twins Adam and Jared couldn't be more different. Jared's room is decked out with camouflage, airplanes, and military toys, while Adam's room sports a pastel canopy, stuffed animals, and white horses.
When Stahl came for a visit, Jared was eager to show her his G. And then that's where I keep all the guns for 'em," he explained. Adam was also proud to show off his toys. Bratz baby," he said. Adam's mannerisms matched his feminine interests: But why is Leslie Stahl bothering small children whose gender and interests don't conform to societal expectations?
Because childhood gender expression relates to adult sexual orientation in that the former predicts the latter: The raters found that "prehomosexual children were significantly more gender nonconforming than preheterosexual children" and that these differences persisted into adulthood. The other twins on the 60 Minutes program were Steve and Greg, two young adults.
There too the gay twin was visibly more effeminate in both speech and dainty hand movements. These adulthood traits have evidence in research.
To test the accuracy of the so-called gaydar, premised on the idea of gendered traits distinguishing gays, some members of the previously mentioned Northwestern University group did another study using videos, this time using only adults:. We videotaped homosexual and heterosexual men and women answering an interview question about their interests.
We then recruited two additional sets of participants to rate various aspects of brief excerpts from these interviews. The first raters judged targets' sexual orientations from unedited videos and from partial information extracted from the videos e.
In other words, people can pick up on non-sexual cues like movement, speech, and appearance to correctly assess whether someone is gay or not. According to a study at Tufts University, this assessment is accurately perceived in merely 50 milliseconds without even videos but just photos showing faces.
These differences are not just superficial mannerisms either, but are deep inside the brain. Within a part of the hypothalamus which regulates male-typical behaviors exists a cell group that is larger in males than females. In humans, this sexually dimorphic region is called the INAH3. Simon LeVay's research has found that the size of INAH3 in gay men mirrors that of women, while straight men's are considerably larger than both. Gay men perform worse than straight men at certain visuospatial tasks like mental rotation and targeting while women and gay men use the same navigational strategies of nearby-landmarks.
The verbal fluency and memory of gay men exceeds that of other men, mirroring that of women. Science, though, is late to linking sexuality with gender expression. He says that "the Urning avoids the company of boys, their occupations, their games"  while today we know that feminine pre-gay boys are not homosocial, preferring the company of girls, contrary to most boys who are well-aware of the dangers of cooties.
A century before Ulrichs, molly houses existed in 18th century England whose participants engaged in feminine behavior. The former were thought of as effeminate not just because they took the receptive role in anal sex, but because they were also feminine in dress and manner. Of course, there's nothing shocking about any of these. They merely confirm what most of us have instinctively suspected and experienced. In the interest of working with a common source accessible to all, can anyone find gay men on YouTube who are not at least somewhat effeminate?
Or take a Canadian show called "1 girl 5 gays. How many of them could have been Roman emperors? An effeminate ex-boyfriend of mine could flirt with women better than any other man I've seen. So I asked him why he didn't want to have sex with women. The response betrayed a feminine self-identity: Gay men identify with struggling women who overcome the odds because they often see themselves in a similar light.
They often even use feminine pronouns amongst each other, and as much the same happened in the molly houses in the 's and during Ulrichs's time in On the "Born This Way Blog" readers send in childhood photos with a descriptive anecdote. If gay is merely a sexual orientation, how did children know they were gay? Were they having sex? No, they remember being different in their mannerisms, interests, and habits. Dan Savage, a professional gay columnist and founder of the "It Gets Better" project, and his husband adopted a son.
In an interview with NPR, he described how he knew their son was straight:. Miller and Savage are the fathers of a year-old son named D. He's in 8th grade, likes skateboarding and has never been harassed for having gay parents.
But he's sensitized to the issue from being from a different kind of family. I liked to bake and I liked to listen to musicals and for my 13th birthday, I asked my parents for tickets to the Broadway tour of A Chorus Line. That's all I wanted. So I've always known that he's straight. Again, if you can tell a child's sexual orientation without any actual sexuality, you must be describing more than just sexual orientation. Some gays do acknowledge this, but the way in which they do reveals ambivalence towards full acceptance of the gender-shift:.
I am masculine, but at the same time still gay. Or so says the online dating profile of a guy who says he's an acrobat who has been doing gymnastics since he was five. His pictures show an obviously gay man. Certainly, not as gay as unicorns farting out rainbows, but it's easy to spot the gayness even from still shots. Maybe there's a desire to be masculine or even in reality less effeminacy compared to other gay men, but even so there's an internal recognition that gay is a limiting factor for masculinity.
Then there are others who are outright hostile to the idea of effeminacy, despite their own effeminacy. And yet, with this overwhelming multitude of evidence, it's hard to bring this topic up. When referring to the lack of masculine gay men and asking where the real men were, an online poster to a gay forum was met with hostile remarks like: It is difficult to reply to this thread and stay civil. You insult pretty much everyone with your post. There are a lot of masculine gay men out there.
Sadly there are also a few out there with the same attitude like you. Could you provide a better explanation of what's for you the masculine super macho man as you surely are you're looking for? I mean only to see who could possibly fit in that category. Most of us grew up with our masculinity being called into question, and usually in a rather harsh and possibly violent manner. And most of us eventually stopped spending time with such people, and the ones we did hang out with didn't mention our femininity - partially because they didn't care, and partially because they perhaps instinctively knew that it was a sore spot growing up, and perhaps it wasn't a good idea to dwell on that topic.
So as time went on, and people stopped mentioning our feminine ways, we grew to believe they didn't exist. Hey, nobody said anything, so they're not there, right? Gay men set themselves backwards when they refuse to acknowledge their feminine traits. Not only do they undermine the idea that they were born that way but also shame themselves, especially the most visibly effeminate.
Ulrichs says gays ought to be true to themselves: In fact, it's rather pathetic that gay men cannot acknowledge this self-evident truth when the first gay guy could two centuries ago. Not only do gays set themselves back when they refuse to acknowledge the obvious, this self-denial has harmed greros the worst. While there have been efforts at infusing masculinity into the same-sex debate since the late 19th century,  there hasn't been a word to fully define the love between fully real men, or at least one that has stuck around.
The love between men is grudgingly tolerated for men who are "that way": The masculine are left out. By embracing their effeminacy, gay men foster greater tolerance for themselves while allowing grero to not be associated with it. Of course, there's nothing wrong with effeminacy itself, but you wouldn't compliment a woman on her moustache either. It's better for both of us to acknowledge these facts. The first of the two politically-correct Gay Dogmas states that gay men are no different from other men except in their sexuality.
This is refuted by the science we have just reviewed: While working in the right direction concerning gay gender, the current scientific mainstream is at fault for upholding the second Gay Dogma that males liking males is a small minority: Our Greco-Roman colleagues beg to disagree with such low figures and so does the overlooked mathematical, scientific, historical, and anthropological evidence sampled in the next chapters.
He said it didn't matter if a guy was married or not. He said half the married guys in the world were flits and didn't even know it. He said you could turn into one practically overnight, if you had all the traits and all. He used to scare the hell out of us. I kept waiting to turn into a flit or something. We are at an impasse.
If gay is a minority gender, then what about the Greeks and the Romans? Our imperial Roman colleagues can hardly be recognized with their debilitating masculine dystrophy. What are the odds that of first twenty Roman leaders, eighteen were not entirely straight by today's standards? To answer that, a peek at numbers: Currently, the number of males aged in the American Empire who self-identify as gay or bisexual is 2.
Visualize a roulette table. Now bet on the same number for twenty spins in a row. Do you expect to win eighteen times? You would also suspect something had gone awry if your poker buddy got four royal flushes in a row? That's what we're talking about here. Or imagine the destruction of the Earth by the enlarged Sun, forecast for about five billion years from now. Not only would the Roman Empire have had to survive past such an inhospitable event, but at least a billion times over.
Not a billion more years, but a billion times five billion years. Only then could we expect to see a series of so many sexually flexible emperors, given the current numbers. What are the odds they hit jackpot on their first try? The Roman emperors could not have been gay or bisexual by the current numbers; however, we cannot have been born straight by theirs.
Even though science ignores history that it cannot replicate in a lab, there are studies with faint echoes of ancient Greece and Rome. A study on homophobia conducted at the University of Georgia may help us to understand the discrepancy between ancient and current statistics.
The men were college students mostly in their twenties, self-proclaimed exclusive heterosexuals in experience and arousal, and divided into homophobic and nonhomophobic groups based on a questionnaire. Shown lesbian and heterosexual porn, both groups showed similar arousal patterns. However, the two groups diverged in arousal when viewing same-sex porn:.
First, the homophobic group represents a large real-world population, by no means negligible. In the study, the homophobes made up a small majority which doesn't seem at odds with current social attitudes and polling. Second, even among the nonhomophobic men, one-third got hard watching gay porn. That's exactly one-third higher than expected by reading the definition of heterosexual. You read that right: Now those are Roman numerals! And maybe without the cultural bias against the love between men, the numbers would be even closer to imperial measurements.
Some have argued that the homophobic subjects displayed erections due to anxiety. Anxiety is surely there, but it is an effect, not the cause. The erections caused the anxiety, not vice versa. How do I know all this? Unbeknownst to me, I was part of a similar study a few years later.
In high school, while watching same-sex porn, I, too, frequently got erections. In the homophobia study, all men gave honest responses to their level of arousal except the homophobic men to same-sex porn. They essentially denied having erections. In my study too, I remember rationalizing the very clear evidence starting me eye-to-eye. The cognitive dissonance between actual reality and desired reality felt like a split personality. I knew I liked seeing other guys naked but a nagging force inside of me would be outraged, not at me personally, but at the general concept of such perversity as if the topic was some intellectual matter disconnected from the matter at hand, my raging boner.
It is not surprising that such latent desires bubble to the surface in the form of homophobic slurs or physical attacks against gay men. These men do not have a way of acknowledging their attractions. Am I suggesting most men are secretly lusting after other men? But the majority is fine with the current situation they find themselves in. They do not actively pursue their subconscious attractions, attractions that they may not even realize but are there and just as in-born as effeminacy to gay.
Culture tells all men to get a girlfriend, go the prom, get married while tarring relationships between men as morally wrong and personally effeminizing. Until recently, such relationships were illegal as well in the West. Neither the participants in the homophobia study nor I are alone in our latent attractions bubbling to the surface, despite culture working its hardest to prevent as much.
Such experiences have been chronicled in print below. Get the fuck off me! We don't fuck, Vince! We're buddies, we're pals, we're partners, we're a duo. We love each other, but we don't fuck! We can - we can travel together. We can hang out together. We can live together, but we can't be queers! We don't need to dig in studies or the ancient dustbins of history to find grero. Even within our homophobic society, there have been plenty of masculine men who have had relationships with others like them.
I don't want to review or copy the entire record of anything that could be labeled "homosexual" as that has been done better elsewhere and needlessly includes the non-masculine. Instead, I've compiled five short excerpts that highlight just grero. Two are fictional accounts that not only represent universal truths exceptionally well but also have relevant back stories. In , two young men from South Carolina exchanged letters.
Let me say unto thee that unless thou changest former habits in this particular, thou wilt be represented by every future Chum as a nuisance.
And, I pronounce it, with good reason too. Jeff signed the letter with the valediction, "With great respect I am the old Stud. His "elongated protuberance" to quote Jeff took an interest in multiple young women, causing a whisper campaign that he dismissed as "a little dalliance with the other sex.
His writhing bedfellow Jeffrey grew up to become the Honorable Judge Withers, a signatory to both South Carolina's secession and the Confederate Constitution. Recounting the experiences in his 40's, Luke writes: When I was 17, in , a boy moved to town from my state's biggest city. I am sure this was quite a culture shock for him.
He was 16 years old, a freshman and his name was Stephen. Luke invited Stephen to his grandfather's ranch to hunt and spend the night. After deciding that it was okay to sleep in the same bed,. We continued to talk and the conversation turned to sex, specifically Stephen asked me if I masturbated.
I answered yes I did. To say that I was sexually naive would be a gross understatement. My experience with girls had been limited and I was not what you would call sexually bold. That said, Stephen then asked if I had ever jacked off with another guy. Well, no, I hadn't. It was at this point he said he wanted to show me something that he and a buddy of his from the big city used to do. It was like I had been electrified. I could not believe the indescribable feeling of his hand on our cocks together, He stroked once, twice and I came as powerfully as I ever had.
The first ejaculate hit me directly under the chin; the second landed splat on my chest. My head was literally spinning because I had never felt this kind of pleasure solo. I collapsed into Stephen and then I kissed him full on the lips, my tongue curious for his and he returned the kiss, urgent and hot.
Sometimes we had little wrestling matches, sometimes we were gentler and sometimes we were extremely physical. It was all good and I never tired at looking at Stephen's face, as he was about to come. He would get the most beatific look; his eyelids fluttering slightly as he gasped and made little noises. That, in and of itself, was enough to get me off, big time. He admitted that he thought he loved me too. I have to admit, although I was conflicted about the nature of our relationship, I was over the moon.
Alone in the woods they were safe, but at Stephen's house they were ultimately caught having sex:. Suddenly, someone burst through the locked door. I looked up and saw that it was Stephen's father. I jumped up and the Colonel began yelling at Stephen, calling him a little faggot and how he should kick his ass and how could he do this, etc. I was embarrassed by my nakedness and a bit intimidated by the Colonel.
He was a pretty big guy and he had definitely blown a gasket. After a minute, I jumped in and said I didn't think that this was Stephen's fault and I told him we hadn't done anything wrong. At this point, the Colonel backhanded me. I had never believed in the old saying "seeing stars" when you've been hit hard, but I did, literally, see stars and the next thing to hit the floor was my ass. While Luke and Stephen had to meet secretly, the first novel to unabashedly describe such a relationship was written two decades before in , when The City and the Pillar invented homosexuality.
I knew that my description of the love affair between two "normal" all-American boys of the sort that I had spent three years with in the wartime army would challenge every superstition about sex in my native land Until then, American novels of "inversion" dealt with transvestites or with lonely bookish boys who married unhappily and pined for Marines.
I broke that mold. My two lovers were athletes and so drawn to the entirely masculine that, in the case of one, Jim Willard, the feminine was simply irrelevant to his passion to unite with his other half, Bob Ford: This earned Vidal a ban from the New York Times reviewing his five next books. Poignant, but not explicit:
Imsges: dating divas lovers in a tree
To recap, a culture that merely allows for same-sex attractions to flourish is biased; our own culture that actively discourages and penalizes such acts is the unmentioned standard by which everything shall be measured against.
Instead, I've compiled five short excerpts that highlight just grero.
Woe onto those heretical perverts who dare expose this. However, as ,overs purposely reducing the numbers, gays dismissing stoner friendly dating sites men's same-sex relationships as not real isn't new either. Have a great day! This maddening lack of self-awareness reaches its peak with so-called gay porn stars, though as with the entire topic of sexual situationality, the now carefully trained reader will easily spot the contradictions and irately dating divas lovers in a tree them out loud to the discomfort of nearby individuals. I jumped up and the Colonel began yelling at Stephen, calling him a little faggot and how he should kick his ass and how could he do this, etc.