Bad Dating Advice – A Response to Evan Marc Katz – 30 Dates Blog – A Dating Blog

Evan Marc Katz

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The mere possibility of love was enough to keep her going. Simply by stepping back and letting each man try to woo her, Lori began to feel more desirable. For the first time in recent memory, she had HOPE. Every session, we had new breakthroughs and great stories to share. Two weeks later, we launched her online. Notify me of new posts via email. He used us to his own advantage, to make us look bad and make himself look good for his followers.

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And as a high powered executive, there were few men who even qualified for a date with her. Which is a shame as I know he has a good reputation over in the States. Amazingly, this man from Appalachia, who was 12 years younger than Carol, turned out to be the perfect foil for her. Obviously, I understand there are risks inherent in any presumption concerning the future, but the most important thing is the fact your coaching and, particularly, your friendship, was a factor in this development. After 8 months, this proved to be a dealbreaker. I'd introduced her to a whole new world, where she was responsible for creating opportunity in love.

Well done on sticking up for yourself and just realise that this is all part of the journey of increased success! Haters are gonna hate but you keep on writing this fabulous blog! I was equally confused, especially as he is such a big name in the States — why bother having a go at me! Good for you Charly! He has grown completely insufferable. Thank you for commenting!

Everyone has been really supprortive, and general consensus is that my common sense approach and the fact i dont try to make money out of daters! Evan Marc Katz Charly, as I said at the top: I disagreed with three of your 5 bullets on HuffingtonPost and I explained why. I stand by my take on things: People should spend a lot of time writing their online profiles. People should try to improve themselves. People should get to know each other before going on blind dates.

Does everyone on the internet check in with each other before writing posts? Did you contact me before writing your post? Best of luck in the future. Still not convinced he read my original post properly … or this one! And I tweeted you the link too!

Best of luck in the future Evan! I do not see the need for a personal attack however, I say that and had someone misinterpret a blog entry of mine about a woman who told me it was my fault my ex cheated and beat me. With so many different experiences out there we need to remember a bit of compassion no matter the difference of opinion. Thanks hun — all very odd to be honest! I have followed Evan for awhile.

His responses and mass emails are fairly passive aggressive. It makes me uncomfortable. Thanks for commenting Dana. Which is a shame as I know he has a good reputation over in the States. Evan states that married women are simply happier people.

Best wishes towards your dating blog in truly wanting the best for those of wanting to find positive congruitive love. If you have ever read Evan Marc Katz, there is always an underlying sexism. He believes women have the underhand and that the man is the prize. Lots and lots of narcissism going on there, and he loves the female attention and adulation.

The granny thing was very sexist and disturbing. Also, your advice as meet in person before spending too much time getting to know them online, is on the money. If anyone is going around thinking they have to do all of this stuff to find companionship, they will never find anyone. Accept and love yourself with all your flaws-well…other people tend to see what we see in ourselves.

This emk douche-his while aim-is to make women feel inferior-so he will feel less so. Thanks for your comment Viola — I think a lot of people agree with your take on his advice. And he treats the idea of single women as a fate worse than death. That bloke is nothing more than a misogynist praying on poor humiliated desperate woman. I am just making the remark that it is useless to try and appeal to the morality of such a man, because he has none.

The reason this male dating coach targets women is because they are too polite to tell him to his face how full of it he is. A male audience would have lost patience with him a long time ago and demanded he actually get to this expert advice he keeps claiming to have. I know this is an old post but. He seems to be a shill for the online dating conglomerate.

I think his advice is serving no one but himself and what has quickly become a dating monopoly. He only printed parts of my post, making me look like a complete idiot and then told all of his readers that I came to his site to attack him. If he had printed my entire comment, readers would have seen that I was very sad and depressed at the time of my writing.

But the way he rearranged my comment with bits and pieces made me look like whining imbecile of a nasty snipe who was just looking for attention by ripping Evan apart. He did that to another woman on that site too because she and I got together and talked about it. We both attempted to explain our real reasons for writing on his site but Evan would not print any of our comments explaining ourselves.

He used us to his own advantage, to make us look bad and make himself look good for his followers. I think he is a selfish, self serving, narcissist who only cares about his own benefits. So, I am not surprised about the things he said about you without even attempting to speak with you first. Truthfully, that man makes me vomit! Really sorry you had that experience.

LOL the guy is a slim ball. His advice is pretty generic in most cases. My opinion is he is not a dating expert. You are commenting using your WordPress.

Lori was an easy client to help - on the surface. Smart, successful, beautiful, relationship oriented - and enthusiastic about starting a family of her own. She was drawn to emotionally unavailable guys. Like clockwork, she'd invest a lot of time and energy in men who would never pay off - not because they were mean, but because they were ambivalent.

And Lori's nervous and negative energy certainly wasn't helping them come to any conclusions. Apart from rebranding her on Match. This meant embracing a more passive, feminine side, which allows men to feel masculine and earn her commitment.

Simply by stepping back and letting each man try to woo her, Lori began to feel more desirable. When a man disappointed, she didn't take it personally. She saw it as a lack of commitment on his part, which enabled her to move on to a better man. Seven weeks into our coaching, Lori met Kenneth. He had all the traits of the men she'd desired in the past except these two: When her father was hospitalized, he stood by her side.

When Lori got the flu, he was over her place with chicken soup. And, to her credit, Lori didn't fault him for being "too nice, too soon". She was thrilled to finally have a man who treated her well, showed her consistency, and allowed her to be a vulnerable woman. Lori finished her coaching with a boyfriend - a thought she couldn't even fathom three months before. Lynn is a year-old lawyer in Florida who married an older man. They had a solid 20 year marriage before he passed away, leaving her an estate and 5 grown kids.

With lots of time and a strong desire to do things right, Lynn decided to prioritize this aspect of her life and brought me on to guide her. Everything I offered, she absorbed like a sponge. Every week, she came prepared with questions. Every session, we had new breakthroughs and great stories to share. Not surprisingly, our coaching sessions went like clockwork. True to form, Lynn had mastered online dating within 4 weeks. She got momentarily excited about one guy, who disappointed her, but she bounced back and immediately focused on the new possibilities in her life.

She let go of the idea that each first date meant a relationship, she put aside the concept that strong chemistry means strong compatibility, and she especially embraced one concept that I favor: Lynn and I, in our 8th week of coaching, did an exercise, distinguishing her wants from her needs. It hit her like a bolt of lightning - she'd spent most of her life chasing the wrong qualities in men. Yes, even her husband! Armed with this new information, she initiated contact with a new man online who had a well-written profile that addressed her newly identified "needs".

It was a perfect fit. By week 11, Lynn told me that she didn't think she needed to complete her coaching, because her new boyfriend just left her house that morning. Lynn is a perfect example of a smart, successful woman who decided to make different choices with her life, and is thrilled that she was open to the process.

When Jen contacted me, I was immediately struck by how different she was from my usual clients. This isn't a good or a bad thing - just an observation. Generally, women reach out to me when they're feeling low, when they're disempowered or negative or confused. They come to me after years of putting career and family first and love second. Jen was nothing like that. She was attractive, 29, successful, kind and generous - the type of woman who sends thank you cards to acquaintances just because she feels like it.

Women like this tend to have the dating world at their feet - they can date younger or older - all the options in the world are available to them. So why did Jen feel she needed a dating coach? She explained it was because she comes from an insular Persian community where it's hard to meet new people, and because wasn't very happy with the men she was attracting online. That was an easy fix.

After we relaunched her profile, Jen had literally 85 responses within the first 24 hours. Then, the bigger question arose - what to do about all of these men? In only four weeks, I provided Jen the tools to distinguish between good men and bad men, and gave her a working paradigm of what she should be looking for in a partner.

Jen is now happily married and annually sends me a thank you note for helping guide her to her true love. Violet came to me in early She has always put her career first, and, as a result, she hasn't had a successful relationship with a man.

But as she was facing the rest of her life alone, she decided that something had to change. Violet knew the statistics - that there are 3x more single women over the age of 65 than single men, that older single men don't stay single for long, and that many of them unfairly discriminate by age. These are unfortunate, and indisputable facts. All Violet and I could do was to make the best of her circumstances.

It was slow going. Even with a profile makeover and professional photo shoot, the volume of men available to Violet, even in the SF Bay Area, wasn't enormous. But I'd prepared her for exactly what to expect from the process, so that her perceived "failures" didn't derail her. Each week, for 8 straight weeks, Violet came back to me with incremental improvement. I'd introduced her to a whole new world, where she was responsible for creating opportunity in love.

And while she didn't yet find love, she was enjoying the process - flirting with strangers, talking on the phone, meeting out for walks in the park. The mere possibility of love was enough to keep her going. Within two months of signing up with me, Violet had a better love life than she had in years, which, to me, is a success story.

One month after we finished coaching, Violet emailed me that, much to her surprise, she had a boyfriend and was pulling her profile off of Match. She gives me credit, but, in truth, she's the one who had to do all the hard work to make it happen. I'm proud that she did. Meredith came to me with great skepticism. And who could blame her? She was 40 years old, wanted to start her own family, marry a Jewish man, and find a guy who was as smart and successful as she was.

And as a high powered executive, there were few men who even qualified for a date with her. There was one other wrinkle, however: Meredith was in a wheelchair. She was paralyzed in her teens and hadn't dated for nearly twenty years as she built up her career.

She was asking me, in earnest, if I thought I could help her. I told Meredith the truth: Maybe I wouldn't be able to make men suddenly want to date women in wheelchairs, but if they were open to the possibility, I'd make her an irresistible force. Two weeks later, we launched her online. Talked about her great biceps from wheeling her chair, and how she always gets primo parking spots. Right then, Meredith called me to say that this was the best investment she'd ever made.

For the first time in recent memory, she had HOPE. But it didn't stop there. Meredith wasn't just compelling online - she was a delight in real life.

And the second man she dated turned out to be the father of her future baby. I can't take credit for how lucky Meredith got; I am proud to have given her a push in the right direction. Nora came to me after I'd helped her sister find love the previous year.

She was in her early 50's, inexperienced with dating, and hadn't had a relationship of any sort for years. Additionally, she was somewhat shy and awkward, and putting herself out there in a pro-active effort to find love might prove to be insurmountable. Nora, however, turned out to be an incredible student. She had a lot going for her, but she simply didn't know how to market herself successfully on JDate. Suddenly, she was receiving a lot of attention and dating prolifically.

This created a new dilemma, since Nora hadn't had much experience with men.

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evan dating coach

If your profile is too lengthy, it will put people off.

evan dating coach

She got married in October of , nearly 2 years after we'd started our coaching, and 3 years after I'd helped her sister find love. You are commenting using your Facebook account. She immediately dusted herself off, swapped out a new photo, jazzed up her profile, and initiated contact with a new crop of men on the dating site.

evan dating coach

Marianne's perseverance and devotion to coaching evan dating coach her the structure to learn that each relationship contains a very ocach lesson, if only you listen to it. As with everything I write about dating, it was simply an opinion, and I tried to be as non-patronising as possible. What I pointed out to Tom, as his coach and friend, was that the "10s" in looks were rarely "10s" in personality, kindness, humor, empathy, and integrity. She gives me credit, but, in truth, she's the one who had to do all the hard evan dating coach 40 plus speed dating make it happen. I know this dvan an old post but. His love life is put on hold.