Am i doin something wrong by dating a muslim man?
Our families also know about this and we are waiting for the right time to get married. I am now 49 and have lived alone since the late '80s. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Thank you for the honest question you asked regarding dating. I know of plenty that have been to matrimonial sites, to events, to imams and still have not found what they are looking for. You could have asked that guy for a bit of time and that time could have been used to think if u want him or not and perhapes he was right that like this you wont get any guy. The first group is "Strict Muslims" who date halal in an Islamically permissible style.
Dating in Islam – Q&A
It has been most informative and I thank you for this. I am now 49 and have lived alone since the late '80s. And they avoid vain talk. Marriage is so serious and so important that it is clearly defined in the Quran and in the teachings of Islam by the prophet, peace be upon him. Time limit is exhausted. Of course, the principles of Islam prohibited such barbarism — regardless of what was widespread at the time.
And tell the believing women to subdue their eyes, and maintain their chastity. They shall not reveal any parts of their bodies, except that which is necessary. They shall cover their chests, and shall not relax this code in the presence of other than their husbands, their fathers, the fathers of their husbands, their sons, the sons of their husbands, their brothers, the sons of their brothers, the sons of their sisters, other women, the male servants or employees whose sexual drive has been nullified, or the children who have not reached puberty.
They shall not strike their feet when they walk in order to shake and reveal certain details of their bodies. All of you shall repent to GOD, O you believers, that you may succeed. Among His proofs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves, in order to have tranquility and contentment with each other, and He placed in your hearts love and care towards your spouses. In this, there are sufficient proofs for people who think.
They keep their chastity. They have relations only with their spouses, or what is legally theirs - Qur'an Chastity is defined Quranically in There are clear verses in the Quran against the natural results of dating; from the seemingly innocent kiss to the more obvious.
According to the Qur'anic commands unmarried men and women should maintain their chastity until marriage. The Prophet peace be upon him also reportedly said, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman, Satan Shaytan is the third among them" Tirmidhi.
When young people are getting to know each other, being alone together is a temptation toward wrongdoing. At all times, Muslims should follow the commands of the Qur'an Friendship with Opposite Sex.
Is it wrong for two people of the opposite sex to be very good friends at school and outside of school? Muzammil Siddiqui answers " Muslims should have good elations with all people, males as well as females. At school, at work, in you neighborhood etc. However, it is not allowed in Islam to take a non-mahram person or persons of the opposite gender as a very close friend.
Such friendship often leads to Haram. The Prophet - peace be upon him - said, whenever two strangers of the opposite gender are alone with each other, Satan becomes the third one between them.
It is a common thing to see a white woman marrying a man from a Muslim country. A question arises as to how they met each other before their marriage? Was it a marriage arranged by their parents? They had probably met at work and dated each other. In the past Muslims did not date because of arranged marriages.
Are parents in North America going to arrange the marriages of their young children as is done in some Islamic countries? In Islamic countries there are matrimonial brokers and agents who work to match the brides and bridegroom. Parents have the support of the community in finding spouses for their children.
Relatives, networking, social gatherings particularly weddings, make arranging marriages easier. In the United States, parents are left alone and cut off from these networks.
The more educated the girl becomes, the less contented a parent feels in arranging for her marriage. African-American Muslims, as well as Arab and Asian immigrants from cultures that practice arranged marriages--are now unenthusiastic to do the same for their own children.
In an arranged marriage, a Muslim family usually investigates the prospective candidate further - talking with teachers, professors, employers, friends, family, Imams, colleagues, etc.
It is a well-known fact that Islamic religious or cultural events are often segregated by gender? So how are the young North American Muslims supposed to meet and marry each other? The first group is "Strict Muslims" who date halal in an Islamically permissible style. The second group I call "Eid Muslims," because many are not strict in practice and attend mosques only on holidays. While technically they are dating haram unlawfully in Islam , without chaperones, they're keeping physical intimacy to a minimum and parental involvement at a maximum.
The third group dates "Sex and the City"-style definitely haram , openly and freely leading a non-Islamic lifestyle, having premarital sex sometimes in a series of monogamous relationships. These non-Muslim women sometimes convert to Islam and marry their Muslim boyfriends. But some are unceremoniously dumped when the man's parents arrange a halal marriage.
The woman's family is naturally upset at how she has been treated, resulting in a misconception that Muslim men treat women poorly. Ironically, the "Sex and the City" Muslim man can date freely without risking his standing in the community, while a Muslim woman with the same dating pattern would not only gain a bad reputation but risk losing a good arranged marriage proposal.
This double standard and poor treatment of women is not endorsed by Islam but by a general patriarchy that pervades many world cultures, including America. They insist that their girlfriends, with whom they once openly had sex, will now have to wear a cover and stay at home, and that their dating relationship was haram.
A friend of mine who had such an experience broke off the engagement with the Muslim man but retained her commitment to Islam. But she told me she is now committed to waiting to have sex again till she marries. Halal dating is the first cousin of arranged marriage, with young people finding their own mates--within the guidelines of Islam--instead of their parents arranging marriages for them.
Because the Qur'an advocates equality between the sexes, it does not permit premarital sex--since all the negative consequences fall upon the woman, including pregnancy, the social stigma, and the raising of the child. Premarital sex is also forbidden for other reasons, including learning to discipline oneself and practice self-control. Under Islam, when a man has sex with a woman to whom he is not married, he is being disrespectful of her, whether she is consensually participating or not.
So young Muslims who engage in halal dating seek a commitment first and are vigilant about staying true to their religion. Less often they meet at school or in their local community.
They spend time talking over the phone or on the Internet and even going on dates, though for Strict Muslims, a chaperone is always present. Once they have decided they like each other, the couple is married under Islamic law by signing a marriage contract. This event, called the nikah, is as binding as a marriage. However, the couple is seen as engaged in most Islamic cultures and in American-Islamic culture. The signing of the agreement allows them to spend more time together.
Strict Muslims still have a chaperone present and do not even hold hands. One views the other as a life partner, not a hot prom date. Eventually they will marry in a ceremony attended by their friends and family members. Sometimes, though, the betrothal may break up, but, because the couple was engaged in halal dating, no disgrace attaches to them.
Many Muslims marry non-Muslim women who convert as a result of halal dating. Another example of halal dating that resulted in marriage is that of a divorced non-Muslimah, who met a Muslim of Pakistani descent in her medical school class. The Pakistani husband even adopted her daughter from a previous marriage. Many non-Muslims see Islam as a gigantic, static monolith, when, in fact, Islam can be very dynamic.
Shi'ite Muslims, for instance, sometimes use the device of muta to facilitate dating. A muta is a temporary marriage recognized under Shi'ite practice.
An agreement, oral or written, is created between the man and woman, securing for the woman certain rights in the event of pregnancy or at the termination of the marriage. We would sneak around just to have dinner or even see a movie.
Then one day i just had enough of the drama and confronted my bf about his family wanting to arrange his marriage and he wasn't sayin anything to stop it, finally we broke up and he got engaged He said he did it to make his family happy because they were Driving him crazy. After like 3 months i finally got over him. I was out doin my own thing didn't care about love anymore.. Then i got the text message of my life. All i could say was why?
I cried and cried my eyes out. I told him not to leave her for me, i said do whats goin to make him happy and to stop worrying about what others want. He loves takin care of me: Am i doing something wrong, am i being fooled again, i guess to good to be true you can say,???
Are you sure you want to delete this answer? To be honest, he is accumulating major sins by having a relationship with you "out of wedlock", not that you being Mexican or Christian is an issue in ISLAAM. His family cannot force him to marry within their culture. If you truly do love him, I would suggest to him that you both marry as soon as possible.
Wouldn't you want GOD to bless your relationship??? Then I suggest you both go to the closest mosque in your area and ask the Imam to marry you. It is quick and easy, then afterwards you both can plan a party to celebrate afterwards, etc.. Just as long as you stop living together in SIN!!! So by him continuing to disobey GOD he is not bringing blessings to your relationship. I think you both need to sit down and come to a quick decision as to what is best for your future.
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You are getting great practices and then you know after you begin to pick up on these things, whenever you see in your everyday life just with the individuals who you communicate with you understand, you really start to realize that that is really removed work. The thing is that you'll never see persons exactly the same way after you read this book. Since I don't know your boyfriend personally, I can only offer information about the religion, and perhaps some insight into Arab culture.
They can be somewhat bigoted, which is totally opposite to the teachings of our religion. All races and cultures are equal in the eyes of God, an amazing tapestry of color and language and beauty. God is Beautiful, and loves many different forms of beauty. The fact that you are Mexican should have less than nothing to do with anything. I hope he has good intentions.
I've heard stories both good and bad. I've met religious Muslims who have married and raised children with non-Muslim women, some who converted and some who didn't. I've met cultural Muslims who fooled around with non-Muslim women, until they caved to the pressure of their families to marry a Muslim.
I hope with all my heart that I am wrong, and that he will marry you very soon. Three years is plenty of time to convince his family that you are a special woman, and is about two years and 11 months longer than is needed to arrange a Muslim marriage ceremony in a mosque. Islam is beautiful, even if Muslims do not always live up to its ideals. Relationships with Muslim men are often shortlived and their girlfriends drop of Islam.
It is difficult to know your situation. He sounds like a love rat. A lot of handsome, charming men can lie and cheat. The most convincing liars can all say: I just hope that he is not playing you for a fool.
I bet he always has you talking about your wedding plans. I also bet that he is always sweet-talking his way into your bed. What if he feigns interest in you? What if he is giving you false hopes? I bet he has never broken off any engagement with his financee. What if his wedding is drawing closer than you think? What if tomorrow he breaks off the casual relationship with you and announces that his wedding is to take place within a few days? Let's see how much he really loves you and respects you.
Why not abstain from sex with him until the day of wedding.
Imsges: is dating wrong in islam
There is an Arabic proverb that says: God is Beautiful, and loves many different forms of beauty.
Also, what if the parents of the girl have already selected another man for her to marry, but she doesn't want him to be her husband, she wants the one who she already loves?
Now if just being in seclusion is prohibited, what can be said about js contact is dating wrong in islam the whole institution of dating? Less often they meet at school or in their local community. Our parents don't know about us talking There is such an option. It is difficult to know your situation. Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.
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