Mormon Answers: Love, Dating, and Marriage for Mormons (Latter-day Saints)

Mormon Singles, LDS Singles Wards Rise As Members Delay Marriage

lds dating rules

Be patient and accepting of whatever her response is, and pray for guidance and help before you talk with her. Verses make clear the distinction between being eternally married and being an angel. He talked easily about all the fun dates we would go on and all the surprises he had planned for me. Furthermore, one's relationship to and confidence in God are strengthened. Many people have quoted the story in Matt. I also think that LDS youth tend to be creative in dating, with a focus on fun and getting to know others.

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While strong in their own faith, a few were considering dating non-Mormons. The answer is simple: Those who reject the blessings of the Gospel and specifically the blessing of eternal marriage will not have the eternal blessings that come from those covenants. And it makes me want to cry. Thus, Church leaders teach against lengthy, passionate kissing and other more passionate forms of affection.

After all, he broke your heart. Worse, he threw it to the ground, danced on it, and then kicked it aside. There are better ways to get over your broken heart. Using humor, common sense, and honest, heart-to-heart advice, author Julie C. Donaldson lays out four simple rules that will help you mend your broken heart including Rule 1: It is possible to survive a broken heart. So drop the rock, toss the tissue, and take the journey from hurt to healing.

Meeting Mary I was nearly seven months pregnant with my fifth child when we moved to Oklahoma City 13 years ago, and Many missions have Facebook groups where you can ask mission-specific questions about what to bring, but these items will generally be useful for any full-time missionary.

A new set of scriptures Some missionaries may choose to take an older set of scriptures with familiar markings, but a fresh set of scriptures can become a treasured missionary memento. Bound with a beautiful simulated leather cover, this book is sure to last the entire two years Andersen, general conference, October Ask the following three questions of your family. What would happen if you sat in one of the His themes of dating, home teaching, scouting, speaking in church, pioneers, activities, girls camp, events from the scriptures especially the Book Old Testament Lesson Gibbons - Introduction The book of Psalms is, among other things, a collection of Israelite hymns.

It is the longest book of the Bible and is filled with testimony and doctrine. Take a moment and glance at some of the Psalms. Can you see the difference between a prayer and a praise? Psalm 9 begins with these words: Just the opposite is true. He who created us and who loves us perfectly knows just how we need to live our lives in order to obtain the greatest happiness possible. He has provided us with guidelines which, if we follow them, will see us safely through this often treacherous mortal journey.

Davies, first counselor in the Presiding Bishopric, told Mormon Newsroom. Learn more about the open house and temple design here. The bride's room in the Jordan River Utah Temple.

Design details in the Jordan River Utah Temple. With the premiere of a new Mormon comedy all about trek set to release in theaters this April , Colin was curious about this unique Mormon rite of passage. As Colin experiences the pain and fears many of us have endured while trekking across the wilderness, he also learns there's more to this trek thing than he originally supposed.

The most wonderful ceremony of all is marriage "for time and eternity" NOT till death do you part performed with the sealing power of the Priesthood, the same power that Christ gave to Peter in Matt.

Temple marriage can only be performed in the holy Temple of God, and attendance in the Temple for ceremonies requires that one not only be a member of the Church, but that one meet high standards of personal worthiness.

When parents aren't members, they won't be able to attend in the temple. Many LDS couples try to deal with the situation by having a separate ring-exchanging ceremony outside the temple or having a public reception, but there is little that can relieve the pain of a parent who does not understand the significance of temple marriage or the reasons why the marriage ceremony can't be observed.

You mean what happens if you marry her in a civil marriage only? Then you can still have a great marriage and wonderful life and family, but it's strictly "till death do you part. I much prefer knowing that my family is joined eternally by the power of God's priesthood than to have a relationship that will end in a few years. I'm glad you found a pretty devout Mormon, as you say. But remember, beauty isn't everything. What are the chances of you marrying? Of course, successful marriage is difficult - and having different religions makes it even harder.

Faithful LDS people usually really want their kids to be LDS also, and want to have a marriage and family that lasts forever, not just until death.

That requires temple marriage ultimately. So sure, you can get married and be happy - but the greatest happiness and success is possible when both husband and wife are able to make sacred and eternal covenants in the Temple of our Heavenly Father.

Hope you'll be able to make such covenant with your wife someday. Many people have quoted the story in Matt. Marriage is an ordinance bringing change in relationships and is thus an ordinance for this mortal world that must be performed before we enter into the eternal realms in the presence of the Father. We do not marry in heaven - that ordinance must be done beforehand. To have eternal power to seal in heaven what is sealed on earth, the sealing of a man and woman must be performed in the Temple by one who has received the sealing power that Christ gave to Peter.

This is what Temple marriage is all about. And it can only be done on earth. It may interest you to know that the Matt. The Lord's response to his prayer is known as Doctrine and Covenants , and is the main revelation responsible for our belief in eternal marriage.

What I'm saying is the very passage you say refutes the idea of eternal marriage is the one which led to its introduction in the LDS Church.

The story told to Jesus by the Sadducees was about a specific woman and her seven husbands. They wanted to know "in the resurrection whose wife shall she be of the seven? He said that they erred in denying the resurrection on the basis of this story for two reasons. First, they did not know the scriptures. Second, they did not know the power of God. That is interesting, because these were supposedly the scripture experts of that day -- yet he said they did not know them.

He went on to say "For in the resurrection THEY neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven. Let me make the following points regarding the Savior's reply. Who were these people? Sadducees were a rather worldly group that denied the resurrection and generally rejected Christ. They aren't likely to be in the kingdom of heaven, so their marriages on earth are irrelevant.

Yet, most Christians believe that this verse means that nobody is married in heaven. That is wrong - and fact made even more clear by the next point below. I believe it is this implication that perhaps led Joseph Smith to inquire of God about the meaning of this passage.

Joseph left two records about what he learned by revelation in answer to his question. The first is a summary statement about the story, which comes from the minutes of a meeting where he told a questioner that he learned that a man must marry for eternity or else he would be single in heaven. The most pertinent verses are 7, Verse 7 explains that for a marriage to be eternal it must meet four conditions which are: Now verses explain that the reason the woman and her seven husband were not married eternally is because they did not meet these four requirements.

Verses make clear the distinction between being eternally married and being an angel. If the story in Matt. Temple marriage, like baptism, is an ordinance of change and covenant making that must occur prior to entering into heaven. They are ordinances intended for mortals to prepare them for the endless state of Eternal Life in God's presence by bringing mortals into unchanging, eternal covenants.

Christ did not say that the married state does not exist, nor that husbands and wives will not be sealed in the heavens, but he said that marriages aren't performed in heaven. Neither baptism nor marriage is performed in heaven, but must be done on earth. Temple marriage is also called "sealing" since a husband and wife are sealed together.

It is an ordinance that can only be done on earth, like baptism, but if done with proper authority and if the terms of that covenant are fulfilled, then the sealing will be valid in the heavens and the husband and wife will be heirs together of the grace of life 1 Pet. Thus, in a generic sense, Christ explained that after we are resurrected, there would be no confusion about relationships because marriages aren't performed there.

Marriage, baptism, and some other covenants are handled on earth, either by the living themselves or by the living vicariously for the deceased, and sources of confusion will need to be ironed out and resolved with God's help before we enter into Eternal Life in His presence. And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them in the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.

What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Adam and Eve, before they fell, were immortal and were joined by God. There is no indication that God said "until death do you part" in joining them. They were married in an immortal state and were intended to remain joined together.

Those who have experienced the rich joy of true love between a husband and wife - as I have - should marvel that God would want it any other way. Marriage is one of the greatest and most divine gifts - a gift that is not eradicated in the resurrection.

The world has lost this knowledge, but I'm grateful for the Restoration of the fullness of the Gospel and for the restoration of the Temple, where such sacred ordinances are performed. There are indications of eternal marriage and eternal families in the Bible. One of the earliest comes from Job. At the end, Job is blessed with double of all the things he had lost Job We are then given a lost of these things, and indeed we see that he was blessed with double the number of sheep, camels, oxen, and asses.

But "he had also seven sons and three daughters" Job The implication is that he still had the original children, consistent with the LDS view that families can be eternal.

Another suggestion of eternal marriage comes from the word of Christ about the sealing power he gave to Peter Matt. And of marriage, Christ said "What God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" Matt. Also, in the Lord possibly meaning in heaven or in the eternities , the man is not without the woman and vice versa, according to 1 Cor.

The Bible is admittedly incomplete in its teachings of eternal marriage, as it is for many doctrines and practices had by early Christians, including baptism for the dead 1 Cor. But that doesn't mean that these concepts were not taught clearly by the Lord. Christ taught his apostles for 40 days after His resurrection, and we hardly have a word recorded of what He taught.

John says his record just scratches the surface of all that Christ did and taught John And we have abundant evidence that there were books of scripture treasured by the ancients that are no longer available see my LDSFAQ page about the Bible. How do you know that eternal marriage was not known and taught? It's existence is not obvious in the current canon of books that were written and preserved, but there are evidences from early Christian sources that eternal marriage was known.

See Mormonism and Early Christianity archived , an excellent site by Barry Bickmore, for more information. Not all do, but it's definitely best to marry within the Church.

It makes life simpler the more you have in common. Further, from a religious perspective, we are commanded to marry within the faith. For example, Paul in 2 Corinthians 6: It really hinders progress. Verse 17 of that chapter says to "come out from among them" and "be ye separate" - warnings against adopting the ways of non-believers. Likewise, Moses warned strictly against marrying outside the faith Deut.

I can imagine many good reasons for this wise counsel. And to make sure that one marries within the faith, one really should date within the faith, for people tend to marry those they date. Ending in , there was a nearly year period in which polygamy was sanctioned and encouraged by the Church. It is now strictly forbidden.

The practice commenced in the same way it ended: I don't know why the Lord commanded it, just as I don't know why there was polygamy among some of the greatest prophets of God in the Bible Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and others. It is at odds with my cultural views and I'm grateful that it is no longer in force. Adultery involves having sex with someone who is not your wife. Brigham Young and other past LDS polygamists were properly married to their wives - just the opposite of having extramarital relations.

If having more than one wife is inherently sinful, then we also have to condemn the Bible which teaches that the old polygamist Abraham was a great and righteous prophet. Christ even spoke about God as being the "God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob" - giving tribute to flagrant polygamists.

Polygamy is unacceptable unless the Lord authorizes, but it is not inherently sinful. After the Manifesto, the government eased up on the persecution of polygamists. It was generally understood that men would not be required to abandon their wives and families as the government had tried to make happen before. Clemency came in several steps, with a fairly general clemency given to those who had not engaged in new plural marriages since Modesty is about respecting our bodies and not causing inappropriate attention to them.

It is about not trying to tempt others to think inappropriate thoughts. Modest dress depends on the occasion, to a degree. What is modest at a beach might be immodest in a classroom. As a minimum, modesty entails keeping our bodies properly covered. Modesty is important for both men and women. Speaking from the male perspective, I really appreciate women who dress modestly. Immodest dress is selfish, calling undue attention to one's body, and it makes life a little harder for the males out there that really want to keep their thoughts clean.

Of course, what guys think is their responsibility, not yours. What about the details? Call me old-fashioned, but I recommend knee-length dresses, high necklines, and avoidance of tight-fitting clothes.

I also recommend keeping the midriff covered. As for sleeveless dresses, I personally discourage them. Sometimes women don't realize the problems that some types of clothing can cause. I vote against sleeveless dresses and recommend a little thought when selecting attire. If that's offensive, I'm sorry. As for details that the Church teaches it's members, you may wish to consider the Church's booklet that it gives to young people and their parents, For the Strength of the Youth.

The "Dress and Appearance" section states the following:. The temple of God is holy, which temple ye are" 1 Corinthians 3: Your body is God's sacred creation. Respect it as a gift from God, and do not defile it in any way.

Through your dress and appearance, you can show the Lord that you know how precious your body is. You can show that you are a disciple of Jesus Christ.

Prophets of God have always counseled His children to dress modestly. The way you dress is a reflection of what you are on the inside. Your dress and grooming send messages about you to others and influence the way you and others act. When you are well groomed and modestly dressed, you invite the companionship of the Spirit and can exercise a good influence on those around you.

Never lower your dress standards for any occasion. Doing so sends the message that you are using your body to get attention and approval and that modesty is important only when it is convenient.

Immodest clothing includes short shorts and skirts, tight clothing, shirts that do not cover the stomach, and other revealing attire. Young women should wear clothing that covers the shoulder and avoid clothing that is low-cut in the front or the back or revealing in any other manner. Young men should also maintain modesty in their appearance. All should avoid extremes in clothing, appearance, and hairstyle.

Always be neat and clean and avoid being sloppy or inappropriately casual in dress, grooming, and manners. Ask yourself, "Would I feel comfortable with my appearance if I were in the Lord's presence?

Someday you will receive your endowment in the temple. Your dress and behavior should help you prepare for that sacred time. Do not disfigure yourself with tattoos or body piercings. If girls or women desire to have their ears pierced, they are encouraged to wear only one pair of modest earrings. Show respect for the Lord and for yourself by dressing appropriately for Church meetings and activities, whether on Sunday or during the week. If you are not sure what is appropriate, ask your parents or leaders for help.

Macmillan Publishing Company, Modest dress serves as a physical and spiritual guard against immoral behavior and its inherent physical, emotional, and spiritual harm. Because modesty in dress cannot be reduced to a matter of particular styles, individuals are encouraged to use discretion to determine appropriate dress in varying situations.

While we do have general standards, we must not get judgmental about those who seem immodestly dressed. They usually don't understand our perspective. When I was in high school, a very nice non-LDS girl I associated with came to school with a deep, plunging neckline that embarrassed a number of us guys. One of my LDS guy friends talked with her privately and talked about guys and hormones and the problems that women can inadvertently cause.

She was surprised and started carrying her notebooks in front of her chest, and never wore that dress again. Well, sometimes our youth need a helpful reminder of that sort - but it should be done privately and with sensitivity. One Church leader, expressing his personal opinions on the matter at a local youth conference in my town, talked about the strike zone in baseball - from knees to shoulders - and said that we shouldn't throw strikes against those we date, explaining that we should not touch others in this strike zone.

I found that helpful, though I don't think he really meant that one can't put one's arms around someone's waist or give someone a hug. We encourage our youth not to get too serious too early e. Anything that stirs passions or sexual thoughts should be avoided. Being all alone late at night is just not a good idea, in my opinion. I recommend getting home early, staying out of parked cars try the 2.

Hand-holding and brief, non-passionate kisses are O. And touching someone else in the "strike zone" - especially in private areas you know, the places you need to keep covered with a swimming suit at a "decent" pool or beach - is wrong. Touching that stimulates sexual excitement often called "petting" is wrong. Dating is about getting to know other people and eventually about finding someone that you can grow close enough to that successful marriage is a possibility.

Developing that kind of relationship requires growth through communication, thoughtfulness, understanding, maturity, sacrifice, and tenderness. Growth in these areas prepares a couple to enter into the covenant of marriage and add the dimension of physical intimacy to what should by then be a deep and growing relationship.

Sadly, many couples in this world quickly jump ahead to a sexual relationship without building the foundation that is needed for a successful relationship. They bypass the growth that is needed and base their relationship on shallow physical attraction.

It often becomes a house of cards that collapses into divorce or adultery or abuse or sorrow. The dimension of physical intimacy should only be added to a relationship after the couple has been legally married. Marriage is a covenant that the Lord has given. Sex outside of marriage is morally wrong. Even for purely social reasons, the risk that a woman takes in uniting with a man and possibly bearing children requires some legal recognition and protection, lest women be exploited this still happens all too often as it is.

But the Lord's perspective makes it especially important the sex be only within marriage, as emphasized in the LDS Proclamation on the Family. For Latter-day Saints, the ultimate goal of dating is to find a spouse that can take you to the Temple to receive the blessings of eternal marriage - marriage that is not just "till death do you part," but one that can last eternally. This sacred blessing requires that the couple be living the Gospel and be worthy to enter into the Temple.

Sexual activity prior to marriage makes a couple unworthy to enter the Temple. Repentance of such sins can take quite a while and is not a trivial thing. I urge you to remain morally clean and do things the way the Lord has specified, waiting until marriage to enjoy the blessings of physical intimacy.

Even from a purely secular perspective, sexual intimacy or living together before marriage is still harmful - especially to the woman - as she is being "taken advantage of" without the legal protection of marriage. Sexuality without commitment has proven to be harmful to the parties involved, with millennia of social evidence to confirm that.

Marriage as a social institution is their to protect the woman and society from the abundant harms of sexuality without commitment. Back to the LDS perspective, we are grateful that a loving Heavenly Father has told us how to live to be happy, and sexual morality is at the heart of that.

Sounds terribly old-fashioned - of course it is - but that doesn't take away the truth of the matter. Physical intimacy outside of marriage is wrong, unjust, and unkind. It's taking advantage of another person's body for our own benefit, and even if they are willing, there is spiritual, social, and sometimes even physical harm done to both parties. Keep the commandments of God to have a decent life!

The consequences of sin and real, and, with the help of statistical analysis, sometimes even measurable. There is genuine harm done to the participants of sexual immorality, such as a greatly increased tendency toward depression or suicide. These and some other factors are discussed on a page in my "Snippet" section entitled, " A Plea for Morality: Good Reasons to Wait until Marriage.

Stay away from it. It is sexual activity outside of marriage. And quite unlike legitimate sexual activity, it is not a form of expressing love to a spouse or strengthening a relationship with that spouse, but is an activity that is based entirely on self and selfishness.

For those that fall into this sin, it can hinder healthy and normal sexual development in marriage, hinder one's self-control and ability to sacrifice for others, and hinder one's spiritual relationship with Heavenly Father. Many men that become involved with the great evil of pornography also become involved with masturbation, leading to patterns of behavior that are most unhealthy and destructive.

The sexual misinformation of pornography can destroy a sexual relationship in marriage, and the additional sin of masturbation and its inward, selfish focus only exacerbates the problem. The early apostles and prophets mention numerous sins that were reprehensible to them. Many of them were sexual sins - adultery, being without natural affection, lustfulness, infidelity, incontinence, filthy communications, impurity, inordinate affection, fornication.

They included all sexual relations outside of marriage - petting, sex perversion, masturbation, and preoccupation with sex in one's thoughts and talking. Included are every hidden and secret sin and all unholy and impure thoughts and practices.

For our lives to have the greatest joy possible, we need to be in control of our bodies and yield to the Spirit of God. Conquering all sins of the flesh should be our zealous goal as we strive to follow Christ. I'm in favor of it. But if you're talking about kissing people you date, be cautious in how you use this form of affection. Don't throw kisses around - treat them as something valuable to be used with discretion. And keep them short!

Under a second or two could be a useful rule, I suppose. Long, passionate kissing definitely should be avoided. And French kissing is out--it's purpose is to be passionate and suggestive, not to express pure affection plus, the stuff with the tongues just seems tacky, in my opinion.

All of us can communicate loud and clear without using words. In fact, as the old saying goes, "Actions speak louder than words. If you put your arm around someone on a date, what are you saying without using words? How about, "I like you. What if you hold hands with your date? That's a notch or two higher, isn't it? Maybe that's like saying, "I really like you. What are you saying?

What do kisses mean, anyway? My seminary teacher tried to explain that to a bunch of us sixteen-year-olds one day. Generally speaking, when a girl is being kissed, she may be thinking, 'Oh. I'd like to do this again very soon. Can you see the potential for problems? Different people interpret kisses differently. Can you see how easily a miscommunication or a misunderstanding can happen? We communicate loud and clear with our actions, and if we're not careful, we could be telling lies!

Listen to Elder Marvin J. A lie can be effectively communicated without words ever being spoken. You mean, you can be dishonest by kissing someone?

If putting your arm around someone means "I like you," and holding hands means "I really like you," than maybe kisses mean "I love you. Some will say, "I don't know about that; I don't think kisses mean I love you.

Most were in their 30s. While strong in their own faith, a few were considering dating non-Mormons. The older I am, the less I am judgmental of people who want to live the gospel -- if they are Mormon -- or don't if they are not and continue to be themselves," said Trevor Bruford, a year-old IT administrator and divorcee.

Katie Winn, a year-old college adviser and ex-girlfriend of Rinehart's, agreed. How many guys could I date who are not LDS who would wait to have sex after marriage? While most faiths discourage sex before marriage, the Mormon church spells out its rules directly. Do not allow anyone to do that with you. Do not arouse those emotions in your own body.

Rinehart, who has readily confessed his sins to his bishops and has at times been temporarily barred from receiving sacrament as a result, admits that he has gone "a little too far. Once, on a vacation with a girlfriend, he rented a hotel with two beds to avoid any temptation. Churches for Mormon singles have existed since , when they were first established to cater to the many single college-aged members that swelled the ranks of Brigham Young University.

But in the decades since, the number of singles churches have quickly grown, and expanded into two categories: Last year, Mormon leaders for the first time formally created stakes, akin to Catholic dioceses, to administer the growing number of Mormon churches for young singles. Internally, Mormons have been conflicted over the strategy of putting singles together in a church.

There are debates about whether focusing on marriage at church takes away from the spiritual growth of worship. And it's unclear if it works. Over 13 years of attending singles churches, Rinehart has come out of it with one girlfriend. The church won't release it's data on success rates, but other single Mormons have shared similar stories.

Today, we have ," says Robert Norton, the bishop of the singles church Rinehart attends in Midvale. He estimates there are tens of thousands of more Mormon singles within his congregation's boundaries, which encompasses a third of Salt Lake County, who don't attend his congregation. We don't agree with that or with cohabiting, but a lot of times it's education, jobs, those kinds of things that are getting in the way of making a commitment.

Rinehart's approach to finding women has varied. He used to drive to several singles congregations in one day, hoping to meet the right woman if he cast his net wide enough. These days, he only looks for women at Norton's congregation. But he's also missed being around older, wiser married men and women in the church and the energy of young children.

Mormons meet for three hours each Sunday in three consecutive meetings. The first meeting is split by gender, with men attending the priesthood meeting and women participating in the Relief Society, an educational and philanthropic group.

It's followed by a mix-gender scripture study and the sacrament meeting, where Mormons drink water and eat bread as a symbol of Jesus Christ. That's the part Rinehart attends among the mixed congregation of singles.

For the first two meetings, he has started to attend his local church that's largely made up of families. And on a recent Sunday in the local family church, Rinehart was confronted with singledom head-on. He was in the Fruit Heights chapel, a small congregation near his home, attending the priesthood meeting.

The day's lesson would cover service to family and community, from kin to gentiles. Rinehart's mind wandered to the former: About two dozen Mormon men ambled into the chapel and caught up on the past week and the most recent scripture lessons. They sat down ready to study and pray. But before any of that could began, the church elder about to lead the service took a peculiar tally.

It was a question Rinehart dreaded and one that rarely arises at the singles-only church. Two scruffy young men in their early 20s, recently back from stints as missionaries, proudly stood up to name their wives to-be.

Across the aisle, soon-to-be grandfathers clapped and cheered. He thought back to when he was a child and first learning the theology and traditions of the church. He would attend chapel with his parents and siblings, and there would be whispers about one of the men in the crowd. What is going on?

Imsges: lds dating rules

lds dating rules

I much prefer knowing that my family is joined eternally by the power of God's priesthood than to have a relationship that will end in a few years.

lds dating rules

There are many such couples in good homes who long for a child and cannot have one. All of us can communicate loud and clear without using words. Previous articles have covered Muslims and Jews.

lds dating rules

Suppose all of eules soup is marvelous except for one tiny tablespoon of raw sewage mixed in somewhere. However, although courtship scotty mccreery talks about dating change and vary across cultures, lds dating rules is quite a conservative pattern for dating and courtship among Riles Saints in Western nations. He went on to say "For in the resurrection THEY neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven. They praised the Lord and asked Him to fulfill one of the prime and most elusive commandments: Do not allow anyone to do that with you. In fact, I stopped operating out of fear altogether. Kissing has been prostituted and has degenerated to lds dating rules and express lust instead of affection, honor, and admiration.